1
00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:03,002
[opening theme music playing]

2
00:00:19,728 --> 00:00:21,438
Oh, I'm sorry…

3
00:00:22,647 --> 00:00:25,567
America, I was just reflecting
on all my blessings.

4
00:00:26,359 --> 00:00:28,445
You know, Bernie Mac
has so much, of course

5
00:00:28,528 --> 00:00:30,864
and I'm happy to share
with those kids. You know that.

6
00:00:31,573 --> 00:00:34,826
You know, there's a time when those kids,
they was living from hand to mouth.

7
00:00:36,161 --> 00:00:38,121
But I've been doing all right by them.

8
00:00:38,872 --> 00:00:41,374
I put food in their belly,
clothes on their back

9
00:00:41,458 --> 00:00:43,209
and a roof over their heads.

10
00:00:43,835 --> 00:00:46,171
I think I really provided an environment

11
00:00:46,254 --> 00:00:47,505
for them to really grow.

12
00:00:48,423 --> 00:00:51,009
Matter of fact, America, check this out.
Come here.

13
00:00:53,052 --> 00:00:55,597
[clears throat]
Look, right here, this was baby girl

14
00:00:55,680 --> 00:00:56,890
when she first got here.

15
00:00:56,973 --> 00:00:58,308
This is her now.

16
00:00:58,683 --> 00:01:00,852
Right here, that's Jordan, of course.

17
00:01:00,935 --> 00:01:02,187
This him now.

18
00:01:02,270 --> 00:01:04,731
And this one right here is Nessa.

19
00:01:07,067 --> 00:01:09,944
But the only question
I really have, America, is…

20
00:01:11,488 --> 00:01:13,990
[shouting]
who in the hell been writing on my wall?

21
00:01:15,658 --> 00:01:16,910
[softly] Excuse me, America.

22
00:01:17,243 --> 00:01:19,662
I got to go stunt
one of those kids' growth.

23
00:01:19,746 --> 00:01:23,083
Damn! I done told you
about writing up in here!

24
00:01:23,166 --> 00:01:25,710
Don't come at me with that project stuff,
I done told you!

25
00:01:31,424 --> 00:01:32,550
Pass the milk?

26
00:01:37,555 --> 00:01:39,557
Uncle Bernie, Jordan used all the milk.

27
00:01:40,058 --> 00:01:42,268
No, he didn't. We have plenty of milk.

28
00:01:45,939 --> 00:01:47,398
Hey, what happened to the other one?

29
00:01:47,482 --> 00:01:48,942
That one's been gone.

30
00:01:50,693 --> 00:01:52,153
But I want cereal.

31
00:01:52,445 --> 00:01:53,446
I'll tell you what.

32
00:01:53,530 --> 00:01:55,448
I'm gonna make you
something better than cereal.

33
00:01:55,532 --> 00:01:56,574
I'll make you some of

34
00:01:56,658 --> 00:01:58,868
Uncle Bernie's famous French toast.
How about that?

35
00:01:59,160 --> 00:02:01,871
Do other people know about it?
'Cause how can it be famous?

36
00:02:02,163 --> 00:02:03,832
Shut up and eat your cereal, boy.

37
00:02:04,249 --> 00:02:07,252
Vanessa, do you know about Uncle Bernie's
famous French toast?

38
00:02:07,335 --> 00:02:09,712
-What?
-See? It's not famous.

39
00:02:10,171 --> 00:02:11,422
What happened to all the bread?

40
00:02:11,506 --> 00:02:12,715
I fed the beast.

41
00:02:13,133 --> 00:02:15,510
Boy, I swear I don't know
how you eat so doggone much.

42
00:02:15,593 --> 00:02:17,262
I'm a growing boy.

43
00:02:17,846 --> 00:02:21,099
Maybe I was zapped
by gamma rays like the Hulk.

44
00:02:21,182 --> 00:02:23,518
You don't want to make me angry.

45
00:02:23,601 --> 00:02:26,396
I'm turning green, Uncle Bernie!
I'm turning green!

46
00:02:26,479 --> 00:02:28,690
Jordan, if you don't sit down and eat,

47
00:02:28,773 --> 00:02:30,984
I'm going to turn you black and blue. Eat.

48
00:02:31,067 --> 00:02:32,402
So what's for breakfast?

49
00:02:32,485 --> 00:02:34,445
I tell you what's
going to be for breakfast.

50
00:02:34,529 --> 00:02:36,447
Some of Uncle Bernie's famous pancakes.

51
00:02:41,703 --> 00:02:44,581
Hey… what happened to the eggs?

52
00:02:45,707 --> 00:02:48,418
Okay, yeah, pancakes

53
00:02:48,501 --> 00:02:49,961
coming…

54
00:02:50,044 --> 00:02:51,254
up.

55
00:02:51,796 --> 00:02:53,256
-Uncle Bernie.
-Huh?

56
00:02:53,756 --> 00:02:55,133
I can't cut my pancakes.

57
00:02:55,216 --> 00:02:57,010
I told you you needed eggs.

58
00:02:57,760 --> 00:02:59,220
[chuckling]

59
00:02:59,679 --> 00:03:01,097
Look at this.

60
00:03:03,057 --> 00:03:05,101
America, look at all these receipts.

61
00:03:05,184 --> 00:03:08,980
I mean, that's five trips
to the grocery store this week.

62
00:03:09,063 --> 00:03:12,609
I mean, I spent over $400 alone.

63
00:03:12,692 --> 00:03:14,694
See, what I need to do, I ought to visit

64
00:03:14,777 --> 00:03:16,779
one of those starving countries
you see on TV

65
00:03:16,863 --> 00:03:18,281
and learn their secret…

66
00:03:18,364 --> 00:03:20,366
how to feed kids on 11 cents a day.

67
00:03:20,617 --> 00:03:22,201
Look at this stuff. Look at this stuff.

68
00:03:22,285 --> 00:03:27,040
Candy bars, ice cream,
uh, uh, chocolate cereal,

69
00:03:27,457 --> 00:03:30,752
vanilla cereal, Captain cereal…

70
00:03:34,130 --> 00:03:36,216
[sighs]

71
00:03:40,762 --> 00:03:44,724
I know I bought twice as much
and it better last twice as long.

72
00:03:44,807 --> 00:03:47,268
I want y'all to get out of here
and I don't want to see y'all

73
00:03:47,352 --> 00:03:48,645
in this kitchen till dinnertime.

74
00:03:48,728 --> 00:03:49,896
Go on, scat.

75
00:03:50,688 --> 00:03:51,689
[sighs]

76
00:03:53,358 --> 00:03:54,692
Let me see.

77
00:03:59,072 --> 00:04:00,782
Oh, come on!

78
00:04:01,908 --> 00:04:03,868
How the hell this happen, in the car?

79
00:04:06,496 --> 00:04:09,582
They're a plague, America, like locusts.

80
00:04:09,666 --> 00:04:11,376
Oh, it's biblical.

81
00:04:12,043 --> 00:04:14,128
They're vermin, rats.

82
00:04:14,754 --> 00:04:16,673
Well, I tell you one thing, America.

83
00:04:17,298 --> 00:04:19,300
I know how to handle rats.

84
00:04:21,761 --> 00:04:23,137
[loud snap]

85
00:04:23,805 --> 00:04:25,682
Yeah, yeah.

86
00:04:25,765 --> 00:04:27,600
[Wanda] Bernie Mac!

87
00:04:27,684 --> 00:04:30,561
Uh-oh, wrong mouse.

88
00:04:31,437 --> 00:04:32,981
[W.B.] What's wrong with Wanda's hand?

89
00:04:33,064 --> 00:04:35,316
Accidentally put a mousetrap
in that doggone Snap and Crack

90
00:04:35,400 --> 00:04:38,194
trying to stop them kids
from eating us out of house and home.

91
00:04:38,611 --> 00:04:40,697
Kids eat a lot, man.
That's par for the course.

92
00:04:40,780 --> 00:04:44,242
No, no, Chuy. You don't understand, man.
I go to the doggone store so much now

93
00:04:44,325 --> 00:04:46,577
the security guard don't even
follow me around.

94
00:04:46,703 --> 00:04:48,204
-For real?
-I'm serious.

95
00:04:48,288 --> 00:04:50,415
-They treat you like a real customer?
-Sometimes.

96
00:04:50,498 --> 00:04:52,500
-Oh, man, you know what your problem is?
-What?

97
00:04:52,583 --> 00:04:54,043
You're going to the supermarket.

98
00:04:54,127 --> 00:04:55,920
Where the hell I supposed to shop?

99
00:04:56,004 --> 00:04:58,047
Cost… Depot.

100
00:04:58,131 --> 00:04:59,132
I don't know.

101
00:04:59,215 --> 00:05:01,175
I don't know about no Cost Depot, Chuy.

102
00:05:01,259 --> 00:05:02,260
Trust us.

103
00:05:02,719 --> 00:05:03,761
Bam!

104
00:05:03,845 --> 00:05:05,305
[laughing]

105
00:05:05,388 --> 00:05:08,891
[theme song from
2001: A Space Odyssey playing]

106
00:05:30,413 --> 00:05:31,956
Damn!

107
00:05:35,918 --> 00:05:37,420
Something just happened, America.

108
00:05:38,796 --> 00:05:40,214
Something wonderful.

109
00:05:42,341 --> 00:05:44,469
Bernie Mac has been blessed in bulk.

110
00:05:45,261 --> 00:05:47,847
[theme song from
2001: A Space Odyssey continues]

111
00:05:56,022 --> 00:05:58,024
The Mac Man is finally happy.

112
00:05:58,107 --> 00:05:59,192
That's right, America.

113
00:05:59,275 --> 00:06:03,863
I got peanut butter, bread,
crackers, chips, cookies,

114
00:06:04,322 --> 00:06:07,366
tuna fish-- chunk light, chunk white.

115
00:06:07,450 --> 00:06:11,996
I got cranberry, cran-grape,
I got every cran known to man.

116
00:06:12,080 --> 00:06:14,874
America, there'll be no more
running out to the stores

117
00:06:14,957 --> 00:06:16,084
for the Mac family

118
00:06:16,167 --> 00:06:17,794
'cause we ain't running out of nothing.

119
00:06:17,877 --> 00:06:24,050
I have salsa, hot sauce,
wine, paper towels, swimps,

120
00:06:24,842 --> 00:06:28,805
oatmeal cookies, Cheerios, Oreos.

121
00:06:28,888 --> 00:06:31,432
I have tissue.

122
00:06:31,516 --> 00:06:35,561
I've got enough toilet tissue
to wipe my family's ass for two years.

123
00:06:35,645 --> 00:06:40,233
Oh, we got sardines, peaches,
Mountain Dew…

124
00:06:41,818 --> 00:06:42,860
we got it.

125
00:06:42,944 --> 00:06:45,071
♪ Follow me go shopping ♪

126
00:06:45,154 --> 00:06:46,447
♪ Me go shopping ♪

127
00:06:46,531 --> 00:06:47,865
♪ Gonna follow me ♪

128
00:06:47,949 --> 00:06:49,450
Hey, Wanda, look at this.

129
00:06:49,534 --> 00:06:52,120
I defy the kids
to go through this in one day.

130
00:06:52,203 --> 00:06:54,914
Ah, well, you don't have to worry.
They won't be able to lift it.

131
00:06:54,997 --> 00:06:56,165
Shoot, I like these cans.

132
00:06:56,249 --> 00:06:58,709
You don't even need a pot.
Just put it right on the stove.

133
00:06:58,793 --> 00:07:01,587
[laughs]
Oh, hey, honey, don't put it up so high.

134
00:07:01,671 --> 00:07:02,964
Okay.

135
00:07:05,341 --> 00:07:06,843
This is the last of it.

136
00:07:07,343 --> 00:07:08,678
[sighs] I'm tired.

137
00:07:09,095 --> 00:07:10,096
Thanks.

138
00:07:10,179 --> 00:07:12,682
♪ She was smooth and never rough ♪

139
00:07:15,143 --> 00:07:16,227
Okay.

140
00:07:18,688 --> 00:07:20,231
[grunting]

141
00:07:23,234 --> 00:07:25,528
♪ Her name was Mary Mitten ♪

142
00:07:25,736 --> 00:07:27,447
♪ Soft like a kitten ♪

143
00:07:27,530 --> 00:07:29,574
♪ The diamond that she wore ♪

144
00:07:29,657 --> 00:07:31,784
♪ Makes my eye glisten ♪

145
00:07:31,868 --> 00:07:33,953
♪ I told her not to kiss him ♪

146
00:07:34,036 --> 00:07:35,955
Hey, Uncle Bernie's throwing away food.

147
00:07:36,038 --> 00:07:37,081
Bernie?

148
00:07:37,165 --> 00:07:40,376
-What shall I do with it? It won't fit.
-So you're just going to throw it out?

149
00:07:40,460 --> 00:07:42,879
Would you want me to take it back?
It's a final sale.

150
00:07:42,962 --> 00:07:44,338
Besides, baby girl,

151
00:07:44,422 --> 00:07:47,216
we got 20 more pounds in the freezer.
Don't be so greedy.

152
00:07:47,300 --> 00:07:50,761
Okay, so I was able
to make room for the jumbo mustards

153
00:07:50,845 --> 00:07:52,221
-and pickles and things.
-Mm-hmm.

154
00:07:52,305 --> 00:07:55,099
So what are we going to do with that?

155
00:07:59,228 --> 00:08:00,897
Those are my clothes.

156
00:08:01,439 --> 00:08:04,734
Well… I never seen you wear this before.

157
00:08:05,067 --> 00:08:06,819
This is so unfair.

158
00:08:07,987 --> 00:08:10,615
Well, Vanessa, life is unfair.

159
00:08:10,740 --> 00:08:12,241
Keep on living.

160
00:08:12,492 --> 00:08:14,368
Here, put this underneath the bed.

161
00:08:18,873 --> 00:08:20,082
[Vanessa groans angrily]

162
00:08:22,001 --> 00:08:24,420
America, the girl is so doggone selfish,

163
00:08:24,504 --> 00:08:27,840
where else am I supposed to put those
gallon and a half cranberry juices?

164
00:08:27,924 --> 00:08:29,175
I need shelves!

165
00:08:30,301 --> 00:08:32,011
Wait a minute. Wait.

166
00:08:32,345 --> 00:08:34,805
Didn't I see some shelves at Cost Depot?

167
00:08:34,889 --> 00:08:37,350
And I think they were on sale,
six for one.

168
00:08:38,100 --> 00:08:40,978
Oh, America, I know what you're thinking--

169
00:08:41,062 --> 00:08:45,316
Bernie Mac, you said you weren't going to
make a lot of trips to the supermarket.

170
00:08:45,399 --> 00:08:47,026
I'm not going to the supermarket.

171
00:08:47,109 --> 00:08:48,528
I'm going to Cost Depot.

172
00:08:48,653 --> 00:08:50,238
So mind your own business.

173
00:08:51,739 --> 00:08:53,616
Mind your damn business.

174
00:08:53,699 --> 00:08:55,076
♪ Just gimme some more ♪

175
00:08:56,077 --> 00:08:57,203
Wow.

176
00:08:58,371 --> 00:08:59,747
♪ Just gimme some more ♪

177
00:09:03,334 --> 00:09:04,752
♪ Just gimme some more ♪

178
00:09:08,631 --> 00:09:10,299
♪ Just gimme some more ♪

179
00:09:12,969 --> 00:09:14,637
♪ Just gimme some more ♪

180
00:09:17,890 --> 00:09:19,559
♪ Just gimme some more ♪

181
00:09:20,017 --> 00:09:21,018
Like this.

182
00:09:23,312 --> 00:09:24,939
♪ Just gimme some more ♪

183
00:09:27,650 --> 00:09:29,318
♪ Just gimme some more ♪

184
00:09:32,530 --> 00:09:34,073
♪ Just gimme some more ♪

185
00:09:52,258 --> 00:09:53,259
[sighs]

186
00:09:53,342 --> 00:09:55,011
♪ Just gimme some more ♪

187
00:09:57,179 --> 00:09:58,848
♪ Just gimme some more ♪

188
00:10:01,976 --> 00:10:03,644
♪ Just gimme some more ♪

189
00:10:04,270 --> 00:10:05,563
[Wanda] A chainsaw?

190
00:10:06,230 --> 00:10:08,107
Yeah, baby, we got to get rid
of that gardener.

191
00:10:08,399 --> 00:10:10,067
No, we're not.

192
00:10:10,943 --> 00:10:13,446
-What is this?
-Oh, sweetheart, this is a creeper.

193
00:10:13,529 --> 00:10:16,490
You slide it underneath the car
and change the oil. Stuff like that.

194
00:10:16,574 --> 00:10:18,951
You haven't changed
a quart of oil in your life.

195
00:10:19,035 --> 00:10:20,536
All the money we been throwing away,

196
00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:23,205
sweetheart, this is going to save us
thousands of dollars, honey.

197
00:10:23,289 --> 00:10:24,248
Come on, Wanda.

198
00:10:24,332 --> 00:10:26,751
Okay, so just tell me where we're going

199
00:10:26,834 --> 00:10:29,337
to keep all this,
even with the new shelves.

200
00:10:31,464 --> 00:10:34,383
Doggone it, baby, that's what I forgot!

201
00:10:34,467 --> 00:10:36,677
That's what I went there for, the shelves!

202
00:10:36,761 --> 00:10:37,637
Doggone it!

203
00:10:37,720 --> 00:10:38,804
I'll be right back.

204
00:10:38,888 --> 00:10:40,931
Uh, baby, you have a problem.

205
00:10:41,349 --> 00:10:43,225
You got to stop going to Cost Depot!

206
00:10:43,309 --> 00:10:44,393
Never!

207
00:10:44,935 --> 00:10:46,937
[revving]

208
00:11:00,993 --> 00:11:03,120
[grunts] Hulk is ready!

209
00:11:03,204 --> 00:11:05,790
Are you sure we're supposed
to be wasting all the toilet paper?

210
00:11:06,040 --> 00:11:07,667
We're not wasting anything.

211
00:11:07,792 --> 00:11:09,210
There's a million rolls.

212
00:11:09,543 --> 00:11:10,670
What if we ran out?

213
00:11:11,170 --> 00:11:12,505
We'll just buy more.

214
00:11:12,588 --> 00:11:13,923
Start stuffing my back.

215
00:11:16,425 --> 00:11:19,762
I wonder if you poo a million times…

216
00:11:19,845 --> 00:11:20,971
I wonder if you…

217
00:11:21,055 --> 00:11:22,640
Okay, okay, that's enough.

218
00:11:26,310 --> 00:11:28,229
[gruffly] Hulk is ready!

219
00:11:32,900 --> 00:11:34,402
[grunting]

220
00:11:35,986 --> 00:11:36,987
[chomping]

221
00:11:41,659 --> 00:11:43,244
What are you guys doing?

222
00:11:43,327 --> 00:11:44,912
Having a cereal tasting.

223
00:11:44,995 --> 00:11:46,622
It's like a wine tasting.

224
00:11:48,874 --> 00:11:50,209
[spitting]

225
00:11:50,459 --> 00:11:52,294
Sweet with a hint of oat.

226
00:11:54,171 --> 00:11:55,423
Let's try one more.

227
00:11:57,133 --> 00:11:58,551
Hey, that was my shoe.

228
00:12:03,305 --> 00:12:04,432
Mmm, hey.

229
00:12:04,723 --> 00:12:07,435
What's the difference with this shrimp
and the one in aisle four?

230
00:12:07,518 --> 00:12:10,062
Well, these come with three
different sauces and…

231
00:12:10,896 --> 00:12:12,440
You look familiar.

232
00:12:12,523 --> 00:12:13,732
Oh, you probably saw me on TV.

233
00:12:13,816 --> 00:12:16,735
No, no, you were here this morning.

234
00:12:17,778 --> 00:12:19,572
And you were here yesterday.

235
00:12:19,655 --> 00:12:23,742
-You… you come here a lot, don't you?
-Let's move on. Thank you.

236
00:12:23,826 --> 00:12:24,869
No…

237
00:12:25,411 --> 00:12:26,829
Thank you. Thank you, ma'am.

238
00:12:33,461 --> 00:12:34,462
Whoa…

239
00:12:34,545 --> 00:12:36,505
Look at all the puddings.

240
00:12:36,589 --> 00:12:38,632
-I bet I could eat, like, 50 of them.
-[scoffs]

241
00:12:38,716 --> 00:12:41,510
Yeah, right. Nobody could eat 50 puddings.

242
00:12:41,594 --> 00:12:42,678
You want to bet?

243
00:12:47,308 --> 00:12:48,392
[flushing]

244
00:12:48,476 --> 00:12:49,477
[laughing]

245
00:12:54,648 --> 00:12:55,816
[gasping]

246
00:12:55,900 --> 00:12:57,526
Oh, Lord.

247
00:12:57,610 --> 00:12:58,652
Who in the…

248
00:12:58,736 --> 00:12:59,653
Ow!

249
00:13:00,988 --> 00:13:02,531
What the…

250
00:13:02,615 --> 00:13:05,367
Ooh… Ooh…

251
00:13:08,245 --> 00:13:10,831
Oh, they're in so much trouble.

252
00:13:11,999 --> 00:13:15,252
-[muttering angrily]
-[Bryana laughing]

253
00:13:19,048 --> 00:13:20,591
[knocking]

254
00:13:20,674 --> 00:13:21,675
Hello?

255
00:13:21,926 --> 00:13:24,094
Hey. Bryana, what are you doing?

256
00:13:24,178 --> 00:13:25,513
-T.P. races.
-[toilet gurgling]

257
00:13:25,596 --> 00:13:27,765
Well, stop before you back it up.

258
00:13:27,848 --> 00:13:28,891
[gasping]

259
00:13:28,974 --> 00:13:30,100
Oh, my God.

260
00:13:30,601 --> 00:13:32,019
What is going on?

261
00:13:32,520 --> 00:13:33,729
Oh, my God.

262
00:13:33,812 --> 00:13:34,813
Start mopping.

263
00:13:40,861 --> 00:13:44,198
We got to go faster. We got to go faster!

264
00:13:46,742 --> 00:13:48,744
I can't look at another pudding.

265
00:13:49,245 --> 00:13:50,788
Let's throw the rest out.

266
00:13:50,871 --> 00:13:53,207
You said you could eat 50, quitter.

267
00:13:54,083 --> 00:13:55,084
[sighing]

268
00:13:55,167 --> 00:13:56,710
Okay, okay.

269
00:13:59,004 --> 00:14:00,047
Eat.

270
00:14:02,800 --> 00:14:05,344
-But it was an accident.
-Was this an accident, too?

271
00:14:05,427 --> 00:14:07,555
I just don't understand
what's gotten into you.

272
00:14:07,638 --> 00:14:09,014
There's lots more cereal.

273
00:14:09,098 --> 00:14:10,599
That's not the point.

274
00:14:13,644 --> 00:14:14,562
What's wrong with you?

275
00:14:15,437 --> 00:14:16,689
Oh, my, cover your mouth.

276
00:14:18,357 --> 00:14:20,609
[groaning]

277
00:14:22,862 --> 00:14:23,696
[Wanda] Damn.

278
00:14:27,283 --> 00:14:30,744
["Stairway to Heaven" playing]

279
00:14:33,539 --> 00:14:35,207
♪ Here we go ♪

280
00:14:36,834 --> 00:14:41,922
♪ Still in a moment of pleasure ♪

281
00:14:42,464 --> 00:14:44,133
♪ You and I ♪

282
00:14:45,634 --> 00:14:49,013
♪ We're gonna find the pirate's treasure ♪

283
00:14:49,096 --> 00:14:51,640
Hey, look what I got my baby.

284
00:14:51,724 --> 00:14:54,184
I got shower gel,
body oil, and bubble bath.

285
00:14:54,268 --> 00:14:55,686
And of course, some candy.

286
00:14:55,769 --> 00:14:57,146
I can't wait to see her face.

287
00:14:57,229 --> 00:14:59,440
Hey, baby, look what I got for…

288
00:14:59,523 --> 00:15:02,234
♪ Climbing the stairway to heaven ♪

289
00:15:02,318 --> 00:15:03,485
You.

290
00:15:05,946 --> 00:15:08,407
That's not the reaction I expected at all.

291
00:15:15,497 --> 00:15:18,792
America, Wanda's mad,
but I don't blame her though.

292
00:15:18,876 --> 00:15:21,211
Those damn kids
would drive anyone to drink

293
00:15:21,295 --> 00:15:22,630
because they're terrors.

294
00:15:22,713 --> 00:15:24,757
But how's she going to blame Cost Depot?

295
00:15:24,840 --> 00:15:27,968
Cost Depot ain't done nothing.
Ain't got nothing to do with it.

296
00:15:28,052 --> 00:15:29,970
Cost Depot going to save her life.

297
00:15:30,054 --> 00:15:33,766
Cost Depot going to ride to her
rescue on a big white aspirin.

298
00:15:33,849 --> 00:15:35,225
Blame Cost Depot?

299
00:15:35,392 --> 00:15:36,727
See, that's that liquor talking.

300
00:15:36,810 --> 00:15:38,646
See, that's why I don't…

301
00:15:38,729 --> 00:15:40,606
Every now and then, you know, every…

302
00:15:40,689 --> 00:15:41,941
A little bit.

303
00:15:48,155 --> 00:15:50,908
Come on now, Wanda. You're going
a little bit too far with this.

304
00:15:50,991 --> 00:15:53,410
You weren't here.
They were wasteful little varmints.

305
00:15:53,494 --> 00:15:55,537
Well, locking all the food up
in the shed, come on.

306
00:15:55,621 --> 00:15:58,374
It's the only way they're
going to control themselves.

307
00:15:59,041 --> 00:16:00,042
See that?

308
00:16:00,125 --> 00:16:01,669
See what you drove your aunt to?

309
00:16:02,002 --> 00:16:04,880
Y'all had it going on, but your greed
had to mess it up for everybody.

310
00:16:04,964 --> 00:16:07,007
Now go and wave bye-bye to all food, wave.

311
00:16:07,758 --> 00:16:09,009
Better yet, go on in the house.

312
00:16:10,469 --> 00:16:11,428
Just selfish.

313
00:16:11,804 --> 00:16:14,765
That makes my butt itch
when y'all do things like that.

314
00:16:17,851 --> 00:16:20,896
-What are you doing? I just locked that.
-I got to get me something, baby.

315
00:16:20,980 --> 00:16:22,272
We have dinner in an hour.

316
00:16:22,356 --> 00:16:24,733
When we eating so I won't overlap?
If we're having chicken

317
00:16:24,817 --> 00:16:28,320
I'll get me some Butter Boy cookies, okay?
We're having, we're having chicken?

318
00:16:28,404 --> 00:16:29,822
We must be having chicken.

319
00:16:31,240 --> 00:16:32,366
We're having chicken.

320
00:16:33,283 --> 00:16:35,619
Moderation, America. That's the key.

321
00:16:35,869 --> 00:16:37,913
But the kids didn't realize that.

322
00:16:37,997 --> 00:16:39,331
They got carried away.

323
00:16:39,415 --> 00:16:41,333
But if they would have
used some moderation,

324
00:16:41,417 --> 00:16:43,377
they wouldn't be eating out of a shed.

325
00:16:43,460 --> 00:16:45,421
America, we're having chicken.

326
00:16:46,505 --> 00:16:49,174
A couple cookies before, you know…

327
00:16:49,258 --> 00:16:51,552
Won't overlap myself, you know.

328
00:16:51,635 --> 00:16:53,387
Couple cookies.

329
00:16:53,804 --> 00:16:54,847
You know.

330
00:16:58,809 --> 00:17:00,310
Uncle Bernie, we're starving.

331
00:17:00,394 --> 00:17:03,439
-You just got through eating.
-Yeah, but we didn't get dessert.

332
00:17:03,522 --> 00:17:06,650
That's because you're on punishment.
Now you all can have punishment dessert.

333
00:17:06,734 --> 00:17:09,028
Put some sugar on a beet and suck it.

334
00:17:09,153 --> 00:17:10,362
But we want cookies.

335
00:17:10,446 --> 00:17:11,822
You just had snack, baby girl.

336
00:17:11,905 --> 00:17:14,158
Your Aunt Wanda don't want you
to have anything more.

337
00:17:14,241 --> 00:17:17,119
Oh, come on. You have a key to the shed,
and she won't even know.

338
00:17:18,370 --> 00:17:21,165
Let me tell you something.
You kids don't know me very well, do you?

339
00:17:21,248 --> 00:17:24,293
It'll be a cold day in hell
before I go behind Aunt Wanda's back.

340
00:17:24,376 --> 00:17:25,586
Can you dig it?

341
00:17:25,669 --> 00:17:28,130
Now I said nobody's going in
that shed and I mean nobody.

342
00:17:29,089 --> 00:17:30,424
Y'all get on out of here.

343
00:17:30,507 --> 00:17:31,675
Go on, go on.

344
00:17:33,802 --> 00:17:35,888
Go behind Aunt Wanda's back.

345
00:17:42,895 --> 00:17:44,021
Come on, now.

346
00:17:45,606 --> 00:17:47,191
Oh…

347
00:17:47,274 --> 00:17:49,068
Who done changed the doggone lock?

348
00:17:49,151 --> 00:17:50,194
I changed the lock.

349
00:17:50,277 --> 00:17:52,237
You mean you changed
the lock without my consent?

350
00:17:52,321 --> 00:17:53,822
-You're not fit to have a key.
-What?

351
00:17:53,906 --> 00:17:56,366
When you can show restraint,
then you can have it back.

352
00:17:56,450 --> 00:17:58,410
You're talking to me like
I'm one of those kids?

353
00:17:58,494 --> 00:18:01,205
-You are acting like one of those kids.
-I am not.

354
00:18:01,288 --> 00:18:03,749
Bernie, you have been
out there six times today

355
00:18:03,832 --> 00:18:05,793
getting chips and cookies

356
00:18:05,876 --> 00:18:07,920
and whole loaves of rosemary bread.

357
00:18:08,003 --> 00:18:10,839
You've been throwing down ever since
you started going to Cost Depot.

358
00:18:10,923 --> 00:18:12,007
You are out of control.

359
00:18:12,091 --> 00:18:13,842
-Oh, I'm out of control?
-Out of control.

360
00:18:13,926 --> 00:18:16,512
I'm out of control?
I'm the one buying food around here.

361
00:18:16,595 --> 00:18:19,098
You bought that little building.
That's out of control.

362
00:18:19,181 --> 00:18:22,726
Bernie, the conversation,
just like that little building out there,

363
00:18:22,810 --> 00:18:24,269
is closed.

364
00:18:24,853 --> 00:18:27,064
What you… what… what you…
what you mean it's closed?

365
00:18:27,481 --> 00:18:29,024
Can you believe that, America?

366
00:18:29,108 --> 00:18:30,859
Wanda shut down the store.

367
00:18:30,943 --> 00:18:32,653
The store I opened.

368
00:18:32,736 --> 00:18:34,071
She got it all twisted.

369
00:18:34,154 --> 00:18:35,572
I ain't one of those damn kids,

370
00:18:35,656 --> 00:18:37,533
so why she got to treat me like one?

371
00:18:38,158 --> 00:18:39,409
I'm not a kid.

372
00:18:39,493 --> 00:18:41,703
[child-like]
I just want one of those great Zots.

373
00:18:42,913 --> 00:18:45,999
[metal creaking]

374
00:18:50,546 --> 00:18:51,463
Shh.

375
00:18:58,804 --> 00:19:00,264
Okay, you're on.

376
00:19:05,394 --> 00:19:06,728
I'm in. Over.

377
00:19:06,812 --> 00:19:09,439
-[radio static]
-[Vanessa] We know. We're outside.

378
00:19:15,571 --> 00:19:17,239
Jackpot.

379
00:19:17,906 --> 00:19:20,409
It's beautiful in there.
You guys should see…

380
00:19:22,035 --> 00:19:25,664
Is there any police on this frequency,
'cause three kids are about to be killed.

381
00:19:25,747 --> 00:19:28,584
Shut up. You're only going to get killed
if you wake up Aunt Wanda.

382
00:19:28,667 --> 00:19:30,961
Now come out from under there. Come on.

383
00:19:31,336 --> 00:19:32,337
Shut up. Separate.

384
00:19:37,593 --> 00:19:40,053
[grunting] Raise it up, raise it up.

385
00:19:45,934 --> 00:19:46,977
I'm going back in.

386
00:19:47,060 --> 00:19:50,022
No way. You only got the stuff
you wanted. It's my turn.

387
00:19:50,105 --> 00:19:52,232
This isn't amateur night.
It takes expert skill.

388
00:19:52,316 --> 00:19:53,525
Pssh! Please.

389
00:19:56,195 --> 00:19:57,654
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, hey, hey.

390
00:19:57,738 --> 00:19:59,364
Hey, hey, hey.

391
00:20:02,367 --> 00:20:04,494
-[door slams]
-What was that?

392
00:20:04,578 --> 00:20:05,621
Nessa?

393
00:20:06,788 --> 00:20:07,831
Jordan?

394
00:20:09,208 --> 00:20:10,167
Nessa!

395
00:20:10,834 --> 00:20:11,835
Nessa!

396
00:20:12,836 --> 00:20:13,837
Jordan?

397
00:20:14,379 --> 00:20:17,507
Hey, hey, hey, okay.

398
00:20:19,676 --> 00:20:20,677
Okay.

399
00:20:21,470 --> 00:20:22,554
Come on now.

400
00:20:38,528 --> 00:20:39,696
They locked me in.

401
00:20:46,954 --> 00:20:48,372
I got a problem.

402
00:20:51,917 --> 00:20:53,293
So that's it, America.

403
00:20:53,543 --> 00:20:57,214
I'm not going back to Cost Depot anymore.
I mean never again.

404
00:20:57,297 --> 00:20:59,841
And I guess my baby Wanda was right.

405
00:20:59,925 --> 00:21:01,593
I was out of control.

406
00:21:01,677 --> 00:21:04,638
She made me look at myself
in the cold light of the day,

407
00:21:04,721 --> 00:21:06,765
and you know what I saw, America?

408
00:21:06,848 --> 00:21:09,768
That deep, deep down,

409
00:21:10,352 --> 00:21:12,354
down deep within myself,

410
00:21:12,688 --> 00:21:15,524
in the very depths of my soul,
deeper than deep,

411
00:21:15,607 --> 00:21:17,276
I blame them kids.

412
00:21:21,822 --> 00:21:24,658
I only have one question
I really want to ask, America.

413
00:21:27,786 --> 00:21:30,080
[shouting]
Who the hell been writing on my wall?

414
00:21:31,581 --> 00:21:35,127
Excuse me, America, I got to
stunt one of them kids' growth.

415
00:21:35,210 --> 00:21:38,171
I done told y'all, time and time again,

416
00:21:38,255 --> 00:21:40,507
don't bring that project stuff up in here.

417
00:21:40,590 --> 00:21:43,302
That makes my ass itch
when you do things like that.

418
00:21:43,552 --> 00:21:46,221
I'm telling you, I'm going
to put a stop to this right now.

419
00:21:46,305 --> 00:21:47,848
I'm not going to be having it.

420
00:21:47,931 --> 00:21:50,392
Oh, Lord…


